The Last Minute Man! July 7, 2011Posted by pacejmiller in Blogging, Misc, Novel, On Writing.
There is something seriously wrong with me.
It seems I can never can anything done these days unless I have no choice. I might have a list of tasks I need to complete throughout the day, but for whatever reason I bludge it away and don’t get anything done. But if there is anything on the list that has a deadline or is something that must be done, I’ll blitz through it at the last minute and complete it with such amazing efficiency that I almost consider it superhuman. Tasks that would ordinarily take me an hour I would knock out of the park in 10 minutes — but only if I only have 10 minutes to do it. If I had 15 minutes it would take 15 minutes. But no matter what, I get it done, right at the last minute.
It’s like those people who lift burning cars to save babies. When there is no choice and the panic reaches boiling point, I morph into a superhero called the Last Minute Man. Unfortunately, I have not yet learned to harness this astonishing ability. I often wonder what my life would be like if I could be Last Minute Man all the time. I’d be like Bradley Cooper in Limitless. I would have finished my three books in the last three weeks, rather than biting my thumbs and staring at the wall. I would have churned this post out in two minutes rather than the 15 it is taking me.
And yes, I have tried to impose on myself superficial deadlines. But they ultimately don’t work because, well, they are superficial. When it’s not real life and death Last Minute Man refuses to show.
It’s a horrible power to have because relying on Last Minute Man becomes a habit. I always think I can leave things until the last minute because Last Minute Man will save me. I can sit there and stare at the clock, wondering how far I can push it and still get it done. And I always do.
Damn you, Last Minute Man. Damn you!